As dreams go, 5G is a recurring one, and it promises the same as every generation of mobile networks in the past. More reliable connections, faster speeds, lower latency, fewer dropouts. 5G is a real technology, but its ability to weave itself into the fabric of everyday life depends on its status as an abstraction. Here, we are interested in analysing the narratives of 5G: the stories told to make sense of the technology. We identify the narratives of promotion, proudly represented by the Ericsson collab, and contrast them with narratives of resistance, ranging from objections to new antennas to health anxieties to conspiracy theories. We see our analysis as a creative problematising of 5G, and the basis to speculate on protocols which are designed around different models of ownership and integration to non-human ecologies. Our argument is that 5G, as any form of infrastructure, is not neutral but imbued with a specific vision of the world and it is these visions, rather than technology itself, that can suggest the way forward to think of infrastructure otherwise